I will be honest. I didn't run after work yesterday because I really wanted to run. I ran because I really needed a stiff drink and it was only 7pm. I figured running would at least prevent me from being hammered by 8.
I opted for pavement since it was drizzling. Less than a mile down the ghetto bike path, I saw some graffiti. "Liv Grace" it said. My rational side realized this was probably someone's name. My still pissed-off-but-needing-inspiration side decided perhaps this was a sign, a reminder to live graciously.
A few years ago, my mom went to a women's retreat. She was asked to write letters to her daughters telling us three things she appreciated about us. The first two things she wrote didn't strike me much. I'd heard them before. Everyone knew I was independent. However, the third thing she said she appreciated was that I was gracious.
Huh? Me?
When I thought of gracious, I pictured elegant ladies hosting dinner parties. Surely she couldn't mean me. I kind of figured she meant grateful and let it go.
Yesterday, after my graffiti revelation, I decided to look it up. According to Merriam-Webster gracious means, "characterized by charm, good taste, generosity of spirit and the tasteful leisure of wealth and good breeding."
Charming? Nope. Good taste? Nope. Tasteful leisure of wealth? Definite nope. Good breeding? Well, perhaps, but considering mom's assignment, probably not what she meant. Generosity of spirit? Hmm- I kinda like that one.
Is it possible that she saw that in me? I hope so because that sounds pretty cool. Essentially, to me it means "giving of one's soul or true self." Damn- I strive to be that. I hope I'm like that even just a small part of every day. I really hope that's what she meant. So much better than charming....
So back, to this "Liv Grace" thing. Perhaps it was a reminder to keep giving all of me and stay true to me, even when it's not easy. In fact, perhaps that is when it is most important.
In the Joshua Stamper Collegiate Rural Dictionary, Gracious is defined as: smiling while having to put up with a lot of shit, or bestowing grace. My dad would define grace as recieving something that you do not deserve.
ReplyDeleteI would say that your Mom hit the nail on the head.
Your mom was spot-on. You have a gentle and intuitive soul, housed in fierce, determined packaging. You give a little something back to this world every time you write- that very last sentence might just carry me through the rest of Today.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder.
I know this isn't the dictionary definition, but i think of it as someone who has a vast interior; they are much larger on the inside than on the outside, and have a huge capacity within them for kindness, humility, and insight. I definitely think you have that quality-- in spades. :)
ReplyDeleteYour mother was a VERY smart woman, and always right! She knew!
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