Friday, March 18, 2011

Livin' the Dream

If you ask me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you. I came to live out loud. Emile Zola

Finding the words to start the blog back up again has been difficult. As most of you already know, my mom was hit by a truck and killed while riding her bike in January. I've done a lot of writing since then, but when it came to the blog, it was hard to find a way to go from a blog post that said, "I came to live out loud," to one where I write about my mom dying. 

I knew the words would come at some point and today they did. Most days I do pretty well, but today was a rough one. I spent the morning hitting up garage sales looking for furniture for my new place. From out of nowhere it hit me-  

My mom will never get to see my new place. 

A friend who lost her mom years ago told me that "firsts" will be the hardest. The first Mother's Day. The first Christmas. The first new anything. 

My tactic on the rare rough day is this: find a way, any way, to embrace the sadness, then let it go and move forward. Today my way was this: I remembered what my dad said about the day she died. He said she was singing while she got ready to ride her bike because she was so happy to go enjoy the sunny day. 

Simply put, she was living out loud. 

So, I'd better get on with it then and get back to some noisy living too. Next week, I move into this place:

Ski and run trails out the back door. A short walk to the beach. A bike path out front. When I sent a friend the pictures, his response was, "Living the dream." 

So here's to living the dream. Out loud. 

5 comments:

  1. God, Lisa. There just aren't any words. I'm so sorry I didn't know until just now. Please know I'm thinking of you and your family- and will continue to do so.

    You've chosen beautiful, powerful words to live by- even without knowing, I know that your Mom would be proud.

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  2. Sorry to hear that it's been a tough day for you. Your mom would be proud of how you live out loud, experience new adventures and stay true to you.

    You have a beauty in your soul that is an inspiration. I am happy to know you and have been inspired by you and reminded to live my life in a way that makes me happy...even if it isn't "the norm."

    Hold on to the happy times you had with your mom...they will carry you through the sad and difficult ones.

    Natalie

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  3. LOVE the new place! I'm pretty sure your mom can see it :)

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  4. I am glad you have become my friend. From these written words, you will be my inspiration to help me become who I was and possible better. We met at the right time!

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  5. Love your new place - your mom would too I'm sure.

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