Friday, July 27, 2012

Let Them Eat Cake!

 For every sad moment in my life, I'm blessed with thousands of wonderful moments.  Not many people have a guy who will make them birthday cake when it's not their birthday! I'll admit I cried, but I still blew out on the candles and made a wish.

The weeks have been filled with pizza eating and being cool:
Big E, aka Ponch             

Mountain bike racing:

Greatest race face ever...

 And a girl's night when I'd planned to throw my panties at the movie screen, but decided the reserved crowd at Magic Mike might have me thrown out. Oh well, I hooted and hollered anyway.

 Thanks to all of you who commented, sent me nice emails or gave me big hugs after my last post. You're all awesome!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


My First Photo
I love old photos. The originals. The ones with mom's tiny, perfect handwriting on the back. The ones with the date printed right there on the side. This one says Aug. 71 on the side so I was less than a week old. On the back, mom simply wrote, "My First Photo." There are hundreds more photos, most with her writing on them, detailing moments of my life.

She didn't keep a journal. By the time I went away to college, it was much easier to call than write so I have only one letter. The writing on the photos is what I have left of her voice. I'm left to imagine what it sounded like.

I'd venture a guess that July 25 was probably the day of her life when I talked to her most. It was her birthday. Today she would be 68. I was there for at least 18 of those. I'm sure I called her on 21 more to sing happy birthday. If I imagine hard enough, I can hear her laugh. My singing always made her laugh.

The day she died, I accidentally dialed her on my cell phone as I walked into the house. I hung up before it rang, thinking I'd call her later. She was already gone. Someone was already on the way to my house to tell me. It was only a few minutes later that I was curled in a ball on a friend's kitchen floor, hysterical, trying to figure out how to take my first breath without her. It seems odd that I could live miles away from her for over 20 years and still feel her absence so severely all in one brief moment.  It was as if I felt her get immediately sucked out of my life and for a few brief moments I had to cling to myself to make sure I didn't lose a little bit of me too. And who am I do say that I didn't? Can you really be exactly the same when someone who profoundly affected your life is suddenly gone?

Although I'm left to imagine her voice, thankfully I actually know the last thing she said to me. It was either "I love you," or "I love you, too." This is how we always left it, even on her birthday. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

Even Monday Can Be A Favorite Day

Wouldn't it be awesome if today could always be your favorite day? If every one could be just a little bit better than the one before?

I know it's not realistic because we all know bad things happen, but I do think there are ways to try to make today the favorite as much as possible. For instance, sometimes making today your favorite day just means forgetting about yesterday. If it was crappy, let it go and start over. Pretty easy way to make today better than yesterday at least. If yesterday was great, let today be awesome in a different way. A lot of us hate Monday because we have to work, but you never know, Monday could turn out pretty amazing if you get a great new client or snag a promotion or win the lottery..... Just a thought....

On that note, some photos from my favorite days of the last few weeks:

Obviously, I should just put my shoes on before I leave the house to lead the group run because I showed up at Urban Tri last week with these in my backpack. Sometimes you just have to go with it...

Speaking of going with it, most of my favorite days lately have involved conquering my fears on the mountain bike, which usually involve bridges.

Of course those are all pics from my phone that I sent to people to say, "Hey, I finally did this!" Actually I think I sent them all to my friend Joe. I'm still trying to make up for the day he had to witness the worst breakdown on the trail EVER. Oddly, I think that day ended up being a favorite, even though we ended up riding in thunder and lightning. A lesson learned from the bridges- sometimes it's best to just look ahead toward your destination and not worry about how scary it is to get there.

Of course, how could a day not turn into a favorite when I discover that my favorite biking snack is available at Costco for a mere 43 cents a piece?
Somehow, even this day ended up a favorite (Don't worry, Pop, I pulled over to take the picture):
Mostly because it ended up with this. (And thirty degrees cooler.)

Now go on, make today your favorite....